-Tulafono o le Alofa Lava-
Samoan for ‘Rules of Self-Love’
1. Bet on yourself. You’ll never question showing your hand.
2. Kindness is the secret weapon. They never see it coming.
3. Life’s gritty. Don’t take it hard. Sometimes people are rotten and it has nothing to do with you.
4. Love is a verb.
5. For a few minutes every day, work on forgiving the hurting little kid inside of you for all of the things they couldn’t carry well enough when they shouldn’t have to carry anything at all. They did the best they could.
6. If the harsh critiques of the adult who raised you still ring in your ears, let me tell you a secret. They had nothing to do with you. That was the hurting little kid in their chest, pleading for you to not turn out like they did. It doesn’t take away the pain, but it does reframe it. It’s not a salve: it’s context. Step outside of yourself to see the shape of the thing that hurt you.
7. Fear is a decoy: respect is the prize.
8. The only worthy opponent is an underestimated one.
9. If one falls, we all fall.
10. Be where your feet are.
11. Everything is currency.
12. When someone doesn’t give you the respect you deserve, you take it by force.
13. Draw a line with a rock, not a feather. Don’t whisper your no. Etch it into the earth.
14. You’re worthy, every time.
15. When you find someone who understands you, don’t take it lightly. Seize your opportunity. Those are your tribe. Your chosen family.
16. Sometimes you’re wrong.
17. When you find yourself in a tug of war, drop the rope.
18. Helping others is the glove on the hand of integrity.
19. You are made of stars, stitched together by galaxies, a universe unto yourself. No one, nothing, can destroy your peace, or unbalance your energy, without your consent. You are a fantastical commander of atoms unto your own right.
20. Growth is uncomfortable, but it’s not that bad a trade-off when you’re already uncomfortable. Leverage your pain. Make it pay interest. Make it build something beautiful for you. Find your battlefield and your sanctuary, and make them the same place.
21. The world needs you. It really, really does. Never forget about the sacred space between people, the respect that allows us to move around each other: the invisible architecture of dignity. The way we move around each other is the foundation of everything.